


It was always you

by NobodyCaresForYou



Series: Zim did nothing wrong AU [1]
Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Complicated Relationships, Developing Friendships, Eventual Smut, Feelings Realization, Hidden Feelings, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-26
Updated: 2019-10-03
Packaged: 2020-10-28 22:54:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20786384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NobodyCaresForYou/pseuds/NobodyCaresForYou
Summary: They trained together. They grew together. They separated. Only the feelings stay forever.





	1. The beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Hello and welcome to my very first english written fic!
> 
> Most importantly, I am not a native english speaking person (I'm german), so there will be errors. You were warned.  
If you find any grave mistakes please let me know and I will correct them, so don't be shy on calling me out!
> 
> And now, please enjoy! :)

The little loud one fucked up again.

Like big time.

The explosion could be heard three planets away from Irk, as was later stated by the inhabitants of said planets.

Red face palmed so hard that day he had blue hand prints over his face three days later, much to his friends Purple's enjoyment.

He was on guard duty the night he met the little defective, at least that's what the other members of his elite troop called him. He had only ever seen the little maniac from afar when he would be arguing with his lieutenant, loudly proclaiming he was never to blame and all he ever did was great work for the benefit of the empire.

Well, he still was an irken, so..

“Do you think they will kill him this time? I heard he killed at least 5 platoons with that bomb.”

“Well, that IS quite impressive, don't you think?”

“It would be if those platoons had been enemies and not our own people.” Purple was munching away at some doughnuts, watching the little irken from behind the plasma wall they set up around him. He was sitting chained to the ground and looked like he didn't even understand why he was in this situation. He was shouting inside his cell, unheard though, as the plasma was designed to be fully soundproof.

Red wondered if he could hear what they were saying outside of his cell. But by the looks of it he couldn't.

“What's he called again?”

“Zim if I remember correctly. Not that I care.” More munching plus the additional spitting of crumbs while talking.

Red would never say it out loud, but sometimes he was disgusted by it. 

He looked over his shoulder at Zim who had yet to close his mouth. “Think we should let the speakers on?”

“It's your ears, I'm getting out of here. See you later.” With that Purple left, not even bothering to leave some of his snacks behind for Red. Typical.

Red turned to the monitoring console and pressed the button for the speakers. He was met by a high shrieking voice.

“ZIM demands to be RELEASED! ZIM did nothing wrong!”

“Would you shut up? You're not getting out for the next two weeks, so don't bother wasting your strength.” Red said calmly and the little one looked at him like he grew two heads.

“Two weeks?! But Zim did-”

“Yeah yeah, Zim did nothing wrong, sure. Look buddy, I may be the only friendly guard you will meet in this time, so you better listen to what I say. Save your breath.”

Zim looked like he wanted to say something but he decided against it. Red silently thanked him for that. He also wondered why the other one would always speak in third person. Was that some kind of trademark aside from his loud and demanding voice? Or was that simply part of his seemingly defective nature?

-

After those two weeks in which Zim did shut up (not entirely, mind you) Red would only rarely ever see him from afar again. 

When he had gotten bored during his forced time out he would have talked to Red in his own way, asking him questions as to why he had left the speaker on when the other elite wouldn't even bother talking to him. Red told him he didn't have a particular reason, he just thought it to be friendly that Zim even got a chance to talk to someone outside of the cell.

Purple had visited most of the time and when he did the red clad elite would always turn the speaker off. The little one hadn't even tried to talk during the visits though, as he later saw whenever he had looked at Zim.

“You two are close.” Zim had said later after Purple had left and Red only nodded in answer. Zim hummed at that and looked to his cuffed hands.

“Do you have someone close to you?” Red had asked an hour later.

“Zim doesn't need someone to be close to.” Red knew he was lying when he saw something glistening in Zim's eyes. Irken my not be able to cry but he sure looked like it.

When Zim was released he had asked for Red who hadn't been there when it happened. Red never knew why since the little one never gave the other guard a reason. He did wonder though.

“No explosion or devastating weapon tests for nearly two months. I lost a few bets and many monies.” Purple was lounging around next to him in the mess hall, snacks in hand as always. Sometimes Red wondered if he could even survive without them for 10 minutes. But then again he didn't know him any different.

“Maybe he's working on something big. He did say he mostly works in engineering.”

“Wrong career for a destructive idiot if you ask me.”

Red said nothing at that.

-

It was half a year later when he would see Zim again. Up close that is.

They were standing in a well formed line receiving orders from their lieutenant, sorted by height only. Red and Purple were the first ones in line as always, while Zim was the last. Red never realized that he was THAT short.

Not really a good thing amongst their race.

After they received their orders they split up again and Red could hear his name shouted from a distance.

“Please wait for Zim!”

“Ugh, really?” Purple rolled his eyes next to him.

“Come on, it won't be that bad.” Red only said and welcomed the smaller one with a slight smile. “Long time no see, Zim.”

“It is good to see you again! Hello to you too, friend of Red!” Zim saluted in front of them. Purple only scoffed at that.

“Is there something you want from me?” Red then asked and Zim beamed at him.

“Yes yes, Zim would like to show you his newest project! It will be most sufficient against our enemies-”

“And why do you want to show it to Red? Ask someone else!” Purple shouted at Zim and the smaller one stepped back a bit.

“Pur, calm down. Why don't you move ahead and I will catch up?” Red then tried, but his friend shook his head no. Red sighed and turned to Zim who was watching him expectantly. “Look, Zim, maybe this isn't such a good idea. But seriously, why are you asking me?”

Zim averted his eyes at that, then he looked at Purple who was staring at him menacingly. Finally he looked back to Red. “I can't ask anyone else. No one listens. Or cares.”

“Well, Red doesn't care either, he's just too nice for his own good!” Purple said before Red could answer, and Zim's face fell. “So off you go, hush hush! We have other things to do!”

With that Red was being pulled from the situation, his eyes on the small irken who looked absolutely crestfallen. And just in that moment Red realized that Zim had not spoken in third person for the first time.


	2. The slow start

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is in Zim's POV, as will be the next, so Red will get his POV in the final chapter again.
> 
> Also, a big thanks to everyone who left Kudos and comments! I was kinda flashed.. :D
> 
> Enjoy! :)

His work station was too dark.

Normally Zim would have been bothered by it since he could not see well enough to work in the dark, but now it was like a welcoming old friend.

He had watched them go until he could not spot them in the distance anymore and then some more. A chime from the portable mini computer in his PAK hat called him out of his stupor, informing him of his much needed presence in the military labs. He didn't want to go since he hadn't accomplished what he wanted and he had bragged about his success beforehand; well, if getting a taller Irken to praise his works was to be called a success anyway.

But honestly, how much of a difference would it even make if his coworkers hadn't believed him anything before either?

So he had taken a liking to his chair way too large for his body that was now hiding his crumbling self from the others nearby. Being too small did have some favors after all. He watched the illuminated form of the beast he had created inside its glass container and he could have sworn it had hissed at him. Not that he cared. The beast was sealed as best as it could be and nothing could break the container, he triple checked that. 

No one had asked for something like that. Sometimes Zim simply worked on his own account and most importantly his own ideas, and while he would never say that aloud, most of those ideas backfired like hell. But he was sure of it, this one would not be a failure. This beast would be the downfall of an entire planet someday, for the good of the empire.

Another hiss from the container and Zim turned of its light with a sigh. Maybe he should get something to eat before all the at least edible snacks would be gone from the mess hall. And then get back to work.

-

The mess hall was swarming with hungry Irken soldiers, each and every one of them taller than Zim. And while that itself wasn't necessarily a problem for him it could get uncomfortable if he didn't watch his step. No one looked down to watch where they stepped since most Irkens were of same height or at least tall enough to be seen by others.

Well, Zim wasn't one of those, so he had to improvise.

Normally he would have shouted his way through the crowd but in this moment he wasn't feeling like it. So he extended his PAK legs and simply walked over them, his legs weaving through the spaces between the soldiers elegantly. Some were looking at him angrily, others kinda oddly, but Zim didn't care at all. He was hungry, depressed and he would be getting a muffin at least tonight.

When he got to the buffet his last hopes vanished like smoke in the wind. Nothing of the good snacks was left and the cook naturally ignored him when he just wanted to ask him if he still had some in the back. So he eyed the remaining things and decided after some thinking to simply not eat anything and try his luck the next day again. 

He could not wait to get out of training and become an invader. Maybe then he would be more respected. And if not an invader then maybe something in engineering, that would do, too.

He made his way back to the entrance when he heard a familiar laugh somewhere far to his left. When he looked he could see the Purple guy, who was chatting away with some other soldiers at a table. It seemed he had been telling a joke since the whole table soon erupted in laughter.

Red was nowhere to be seen though. So Zim didn't pay the other guy any more mind and left the mess hall. That guy did bother him in his mind all the way back to the labs though.

-

When Zim came back to his still dark work station the lab was deserted. Normally there would at least be one other trainee but as it seemed they all decided to leave at the same time this day. Zim didn't give it a thought really so he sat in his chair again and booted up the computer station in front of him.

He got to work immediately and didn't pay his surroundings any mind so he couldn't hear the footsteps that came in his direction. They stopped behind his chair when he stopped for something to drink shortly.

“You should go to recharge sometime.” A voice behind Zim then said and the small Irken screamed in shock. He dropped what he had in his claws and jumped from the chair onto his desk, all the while pulling up a laser pistol from his PAK. When he saw who was there, surrendering by putting his hands up, he lowered the weapon with a loud exhale.

“Irk, Red, never do that again.” He put the pistol away and climbed from the desk. “What do you want here anyway, your friend is in the mess hall.” Zim tried to speak nonchalantly about Purple but he doubted it came out that way. Red shuffled his feet.

“I know, I left him there. I wanted to bring you something.” With that he held up a red paper bag in Zim's direction and the smaller one eyed it suspiciously. Red pushed it some more to Zim and he then took it, sniffing it for its contents. His eyes widened and he ripped the bag open to expose the little load of mini doughnuts inside.

Zim let out an embarrassing sound he didn't even know he could make before he could stop himself. Red answered in a lower tune, but Zim didn't even realize that.

“Why? Zim cannot take these from you!” Zim then said and closed the bag again, holding it for Red to take again. The other just huffed amused.

“I got them for you, no take backs. Just eat them, you look hungry enough as it is.”

Zim watched Red for some seconds for a hint that he was joking, but he got none. So he opened the bag again and took out one of the doughnuts. He squished it slightly between his fingers and grew surprised as he saw the freshness of the snack. He took a small bite and felt like he would float away.

He hadn't had a snack like this in months! So he dug in fully.

He was vaguely aware that his visitor was watching him as he ate but he could not care less in that moment. He did offer one of the doughnuts to Red though but he declined gratefully, so Zim emptied the bag by himself. He felt full when he was done and a lazy smile spread over his lips.

“Thank you so much for this, Red.”, he then said as he sat in his chair again. “But.. why? Not even because I am Zim, but why is one of the tallest ones in this camp offering snacks to a way smaller one?”

He watched Red while he seemed to think of an answer. There was some hesitation in his eyes and he was biting his lower lip slightly, all in all he looked.. nervous. Zim didn't want to believe what he thought to himself though, so he waited. Red shuffled with his feet again. Was that a habit of his?

“To be honest, I wanted to apologize for Purple. He was way to rude before.” Zim nodded solemn. That would probably be the only reason - “And I actually really wanted to see what you have been working on. You said it would be good against enemies so I am curious. I will be fighting mostly at the front line if I'm not working for a Tallest someday, so..”

Zim actually froze at that. He looked at the taller one with wide eyes and something in his squeedlyspooch stopped working shortly. “YOU- You really-!”

“Yes.” Red smiled at him. A honest, warm smile like Zim had never received before. He felt his cheeks heat at that and he pawed them with his gloved hands.

“I- Zim- I-.. Of course!”

So he did show the beast to Red that hissed at the taller one way more then at Zim (much to his amusement). Red had said that he had been impressed, getting something in a tube to live was beyond his knowledge. He did mutter also that he had no idea about the process within the smeeteries, so he refrained from even taking a chance in conversation about that. Zim also noticed that Red sometimes had trouble finding words to say, so he made up for them in a kind of hilarious way. 

Zim would never admit it, but he thought it was cute. Way too cute for someone who he should respect no matter what. And something, deep down in his guts told him, that he would be having a problem with that one day.


	3. The End Is Near

Something grew between them. Zim couldn't name what it was and he didn't want to call it friendship. But steadily they built something.

Whenever Red could make it he would bring Zim small gifts, mostly snacks but sometimes little trinkets of battles he fought with his elite group and Zim in turn would built something for him like weapons or upgrades for his battle armor. They would chat long into the nights they were able to spent together as few and rare as they were and Zim enjoyed those thoroughly.

Whenever they would meet they would do so away from the camp and the prying eyes of other Irkens. Red didn't say it out loud but Zim just knew that he didn't want his reputation lowered because of him being nice to the smallest Irken in their camp. But at the same time he didn't think that Red would see this as a reason too. The taller one strode through the camp like it belonged to him, Purple always by his side and he was respected by their fellow soldiers without question. 

Red didn't know that but Zim was monitoring him from afar. He knew that the other would think of him being a creep since he had a similar situation with another Irken at the beginning of their training. He only told Zim the short version of the story but the smaller one understood none the less how Red had felt during that time. So he only watched him in his lab when no one was there anymore and he knew the taller one was in battle.

Was he worried? No, Red could defend himself. He'd seen that countless times by now and his body always grew warm when he watched Red fight. Zim would see the same in others when they could watch in the fighting arena where the best elite soldiers would fight against each other for training. No matter how often Red would fight he would always come out the winner and the crowd would cheer him on, sometimes calling him the next almighty Tallest.

Speaking of which..

“It hurts so much.. Why does it hurt so much, Zim?” Red was groaning on Zim's desk chair at his work station, sitting there with limp limbs and a scowl on his face. 

“You're just having another growth spurt. It'll pass.” Zim said while he pocked the container for the hissing beast still sitting on his desk.

“I don't want to grow anymore, I'm already tall enough for my liking.. Plus, the last one didn't hurt like I'm being ripped in two.” Red wailed some more and Zim turned to look at him.

“At least you ARE still growing. I didn't have a growth spurt since before I began training. Just be happy.”

“Maybe I would be if it didn't hurt like hell.”

Zim guessed that Red really was hurting, but he couldn't exactly stand his whining anymore. For him being so short, listening to someone else crying about growth was nothing he would call comfortable. If anything it saddened him. He took off a glove and put the naked hand on Red's limp left arm to felt for his temperature. Red was burning up and he sucked in a deep breath at the touch.

“Could you please not do that..?” He then said and Zim looked into his red eyes. He could not read the emotion there and that told Zim exactly nothing as to why he should put his hand away again.

“I'm just checking your temperature. Or does this hurt you?” He felt some more with his hand, intent on getting a result, as Red suddenly jerked his arm away. Zim looked up again and Red's face was suddenly way more near than before.

“It does the exact opposite of hurt, and you know.. Just.. don't do that again, okay?” He then breathed and got to stand up. Zim was confused at the sudden shifting in mood from the other and stepped away to make room for the taller to pass him.

“But if it doesn't hurt and is good, I could do it some more?” Zim said and Red looked at him like he had grown two heads. 

“Do you even know what it means what you just did? Irkens don't touch other Irkens with naked skin, Zim.” 

Zim did his research on that topic after Red was gone rather quickly that night. He had mumbled something like 'Purple needs me' and nearly flew out of the labs, without explaining what he had meant when Zim had asked him. The smaller one had gotten frustrated with Red after this, but when he had read what he needed to he wanted to die from embarrassment.

Touching another Irken with bare skin was considered an invitation for something most Irkens don't even practice anymore as it was considered unnecessary and sinful. And here Zim was, inviting Red without knowing to a steamy night full of..

No, he would tell Red he hadn't meant it like that. He would apologize, as fast as possible.

-

Apologizing would be way more complicated than Zim would ever have hoped for. Being himself he knew his luck most of the time, but getting kicked away by the guards to Red's camp side entrance was a new one. 

“Tiny ones like you are not allowed here!” One had bellowed and Zim threw a fit right then and there like he would always do, alerting the rest of the camp site if the lights being turned on inside the bunkers was any indication. There were soldiers coming out of them, watching the spectacle Zim gave them, and the smaller one seriously hoped that he would soon see a familiar face amongst them.

“I AM ZIM! I NEED TO TALK TO RED! LET ME IIIN!” He screamed and the guards covered their antennae.

“Shut the hell up!” The other guard then screamed and promptly kicked Zim in his middle. The smaller one huffed in pain as he cowered on the dirty ground, heaving a bit as he felt his last eaten snacks coming back. “Let this be your last warning, go away. Or we will stab you so you don't get up again, defective idiot!”

“Zim.. is not.. defective..” He heaved once more and laid his forehead on the ground.

He didn't know that somewhere a red clad soldier was being held back by his friend.

-

He wrote a letter.

After the incident he hadn't seen Red for nearly two months and it was slowly getting to him. He was desperate. He was sad. He was angry at himself. If he hadn't touched him he would still be here some nights, so naturally it was his fault.

He wrote that in his letter. He wrote about his feelings, his wants, hell, even his needs. He wrote a letter he never once again would look at, everything written long forgotten in the back of his mind, written in a state of emotional turmoil and depression, all because of his obvious loss.

He just never got to send it.

He worked at his work station, taking orders from his superiors, sometimes poking the container of the beast which hisses became louder each day. Sometimes he wondered why it even did that. He didn't monitor Red anymore since he didn't want to be blamed for more than he already was.

When he had free time he would recharge his PAK, closing his eyes all the while, imagining Red there with him. He didn't know why he imagined that but he was happier then. Having the taller one there with him would always calm him down, sometimes it would heat him up, too. It happened rarely but it happened, and many times Zim would just wonder what would have happened if Red had taken the unknown invitation to heart that day and just- well, had gone for it.

Zim seriously doubted he would have said no.

But all that was just wishful thinking, he knew that. So he tried to not think about Red anymore. It was difficult, but after those two months it worked better then before.

So to say that Zim was shocked when he came to the lab one night and finding it not deserted would have been an understatement then.

He heard the hissing of the beast before he even got to his work station and he ran to the place, only to be greeted by an Irken, tall enough to be a Tallest, all clad in a red armor. The Irken looked at him with something familiar in his eyes and Zim recognized him finally.

“Red?! But what are you-?! When did you get-?!” Questions came to Zim's mind and he wanted to ask all of them at the same time, but he was cut off when Red got to his knees and pulled him into a hug. Zim stiffened and didn't dare move as he felt the others antennae brush against his cheeks.

“Finally..” Red whispered and Zim dared to take a breath again. The taller one hugged him a bit stronger then and Zim put his hands against his breastplates.

“Can't .. breathe-”

“Sorry.” Red let go of Zim to an extent, he still kept his arms around his smaller form. “I just really missed you, you know.” Zim felt his cheeks grow hot again and he quickly averted his gaze.

“Where were you? I haven't seen you in a long time.” Zim then murmured and Red sighed.

“My growth spurt put me out for a long time. And after that Purple wouldn't leave me alone for a sec, 'so you don't go to him anymore'. I am truly sorry, Zim.”

“Wait, Purple did- But why?!”

“Remember the night you came to our camp site? You don't want to know how they questioned me after you were gone, how you could even know me and Purple said that he didn't want me to even be near you, like.. ever..” That made sense, Zim thought. “But I just.. I couldn't. I don't care what they say to me when they see me next time, but I escaped from Purple for now and I want to use that time.”

“Use that time? How?”

Zim looked at Red. Looked at the tallest Irken he ever had laid his eyes on, the strongest he ever saw fight and the one who fled from his best friend to spend time with him. What did he do to deserve that?

“I'm just going to ask you one thing, please only answer with 'yes' or 'no'. Okay?” Zim nodded dumbly.

“Were you honest with that invitation?”

Of all the questions he could ask Zim he had to ask this one. Red watched the smaller one intently, searching his face for any emotion he could find, and Zim crumbled a bit under his gaze. 

“I-..” Red grip around him grew in intensity again and Zim swallowed a bit. “Yes..”

Red still looked at him, but Zim could see something shifting in his eyes. The taller one then proceeded to rest his forehead to Zim's, touching his antennae to Zim's in a soft brush.

“I had prayed that you would say that. You have no idea how often I thought about that.. with you.”

Zim couldn't say anything to that, as Red covered his lips with his own an instant later.

-

The silence of the lab was disturbed by soft moans and pleas of 'more' and 'harder'. Occasionally a hissing could be heard, not belonging to the two Irkens loving each other like their life depended on it. 

There would be the scratching sound of metal on ground whenever a PAK would connect with the concrete, overshadowing the litany of 'I love you's a deeper voice would murmur while the other one screamed in ecstasy. Zim wouldn't hear the 'sorry' Red would whisper when he passed out after his last orgasm.

When Zim would awake in his chair, covered with his clothes again he would be alone. And the hissing would be gone, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cut out the actual smut part due to the rating of the story, but I do have it written fully as a stand alone piece. If anyones interested please tell me and I will upload it with the next and last chapter of this story. :)


	4. The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter! Honestly I didn't think I would finish this story so fast but GOD it was so much fun. At first this was supposed to be a one shot (if the shortness of the chapters was any indication) but I decided against it to see how my writing skills in a foreign language would be liked. Well, if they were liked at all, really. And since that seems to be the case I do have to admit that I am kinda proud of myself. ^^"
> 
> Thanks to everyone who left kudos and comments, lots of love to you guys!

The day they entered the Massive as the almighty Tallest only one of them would smile.

The were cheered on and wished the best of luck from their fellow Irkens. They boarded the Massive after their goodbyes to the crowd and were shown around shortly after. 

“Tallest Miyuki ordered this ship from the Vortians, and she would have been very pleased with their work. Now this ship is yours to command, my Tallest!” An Irken elite was saluting to them along with the rest of the bridge crew. 

“Yeah yeah, bring me a drone with doughnuts!” Purple only answered and dismissed the other Irkens. Red watched them separate and go to their respective stations to pick up their work.

His squeedlyspooch clenched painfully inside him.

He watched Purple gorge himself on the sweet snacks a drone brought to him, laughing all the way and shouting useless commands to the workers.

Red wasn't hungry. He felt restless and tired at the same time. He watched the action on the bridge till they entered deep space far away from Irk and after he made sure that Purple wouldn't kill anyone not guilty of some sort of crime he excused himself to his private quarters.

He shut and locked the door behind him only to lean against it heavily, slowly but steadily sinking to the ground he hadn't felt ever since they were forced into those stupid hover belts. He sat there with his PAK to the steel door for some minutes, holding his face in his thumbless hands. He couldn't even feel the pain from the wound his missing thumb caused, too much in thought about what Purple and he had done.

But way more worse was what he had done to Zim. The one he had told that he loved him, the one he held after their union, crying without visible tears streaming down his face. The one he told that he was so, so sorry after he fell unconscious.

Zim, who was now sitting in prison for something he didn't even commit.

-

~Three months earlier~

“You must be kidding! I will NOT kill Zim!”

“You need to! He's got that thing we need to become the tallest and you know he would never give it to me for killing our useless leaders! And he would never keep his mouth shut about it!”

“You're insane, Pur!”

Red was enraged. He was in too much pain, his feelings were all over the place after Zim had touched him and now this? Treachery committed by his best friend? What was Purple even thinking? 

Violet eyes watched him too closely while he wandered through their shared (and thankfully soundproof) quarters, noting his every move and Red grew irritated the longer this went on.

“What can I do or say to make you change your mind?” Red then asked with little to no hope of an actual good answer. Purple overlay his legs where he was sitting on the soft plush bed of Red.

“Nothing. I hate this training, I hate this camp, and when you and I finish our growth spurt we will be tall enough to be considered the next tallest in line. I want a luxury life with lots of snack and less of fights and most importantly, I want to order all Irkens around!” Purple knocked a fist against his breast armor. “You should know me by now, Red!”

“I do, and I know all this. But please reconsider, you and I already have all those privileges, we don't need any more!” Red tried but Purple only scoffed and huffed a breath.

“Sure, but we are still ordered around. And I hate that!”

“Irk, I can't listen to you anymore. I won't kill Zim or harm him in any way, so think of some other plan! I'm outta here.” Red turned to leave and heard the creaking of the bed as Purple went to follow him.

Outside they were confronted with screaming and a crowd of soldiers who all looked at Red like he was some kind of freak. He heard whispering but he didn't bother trying to understand it, and then he saw it. 

Zim on the ground, clutching his belly like a vice, shaking in pain. The guards who were stationed at the entrance to their camp site were shouting at him and something inside Red froze.

“Hah, looks like you won't even need to do anything about Zim anymore. He's suicidal enough.” Purple grinned behind him and Red whirled around to throw a punch at his friend, when he heard one of the guards say the word 'defective'.

In the end he saw red and had to be held back by Purple instead of hitting him in the face.

~One Month Earlier~

Why had he done this?

Why had he let himself be ushered into this situation by Purple when he just could have said 'No'?

Why was he carrying a container with an angry, non stop hissing beast through the camp, only stepping into the shadows so he wouldn't be seen when he should be with Zim, cuddling him in his sleep?

WHY?!

Purples laughter and victorious screams when they watched from a safe distance as Zim's creation grew in size and devoured their people and their tallest gave him his answers. Watching his 'friend' cackle like a maniac told him that he was wise to fear Purple when he wanted something real hard. To most people he was the dumb one who just got lucky with his height, but to Red he was more than that.

He could see behind the curtains of faked dumbness and see Purple for who he really was. And dear Irk and everything holy, if there was one thing he was truly afraid of, it was Purple.

“When it is finished we will get that thing back inside its container and call it a day. And then we will wait for for them realize that we are without leadership. And then our time will come..” Purple rubbed his hands together and grinned sinister.

Red just kept his silence.

~Two weeks ago~

The control brains welcomed them in their droning voice. There was no ceremony, just the two of them. No big crowd to cheer for them, no hollering voices or the clapping of hands. Just silence and the occasional word from the brains as they re-encoded both of them to be the almighty tallest, leaders of the Irken race.

Leaders to a race that nearly lost most of its population to the sick scheming of their newest leader, tallest Purple.

A population lost to a synthetically created creature that was meant to bring their enemies to their downfall, not their own race.

A beast created by the defective Zim, who was next in line to be re-encoded.

At least that's what Purple had told Red.

When they were officially the almighty tallest Purple called for Zim to be brought in. Two elite soldiers came in at that, Zim in the middle, his hands and feet cuffed and he himself carried, his feet dragging against the floor all the way to the middle of the room.

Red's inside squeezed painfully at the sight, and when Zim turned his head to look at Red with dull eyes the tallest wanted to run to him, hug him and bring him to safety.

But he couldn't.

Zim mouthed something to Red that looked like 'You lied to me.' but the red clad tallest couldn't be sure. It hurt none the less.

“Control brains! We brought you the defective Zim, for erasing his memories on a special event!” Purple then called and Red turned to look at him wide eyed.

“Pur, what are you-?”

“WHAT EVENT ARE YOU REFERING TO, MY TALLEST?” 

“The event where tallest Red practiced intercourse with Zim. We can't afford to let him ever talk about that to anyone!” Purple's voice was cold as ice and he looked at Red, who had gotten paler at his statement, from the corner of his eye. “Don't ever believe that I didn't know about that. You reeked of sex when you came back.”

“Wha-?” Two metal tentacles came down from the brains and connected with Zim's PAK, who's owner looked at Red in undisguised panic. Red wanted to say something but Zim's screams came faster.

“NO, PLEASE, ZIM WILL NEVER TELL-”

Sparks were flying and Zim's body moved uncontrolled when his memories got erased. Red only watched helplessly, feeling his metaphorical heart ripped in two.

“IT IS DONE, MY TALLEST.”

Zim was thrown to the ground when the metal tentacles retracted to the ceiling and Purple chuckled. “I do believe you will never tell anyone, dearest Red, or else we will have to erase your memories, too.” He grinned at Red like he couldn't even kill a fly, but Red knew him too good.

He wisely nodded and didn't argue. He looked one last time at the still unconscious Zim who was now dragged out of the room by the same soldiers who brought him in. And he wished he would be with him in that moment, if he had just been a little shorter..

~Present~

The floor was his best friend. That, and his ever growing shame of just letting Purple do as he pleased. Red had always been the stronger one of them, he could have easily killed the other one.

He just never dared to do it. While Purple was an egoistical maniac he still was his best friend, too. Another species had a better name for it, they called it family. He could do without the drama though.

Red was way to emotional for a leader. He belonged to the troops and on the battlefield, he was born, raised and trained for that. And now?

Now he would be sitting docks in this freaking huge space ship, traveling through space with nothing to do but ordering others around, snacking and keeping Purple in check. He could even have a drone to undress him if he went to sleep (another concept new to him, all he ever did had been recharging) so he wouldn't have to do it himself. Red refrained from that of course. He could still do the most simple tasks by himself and he would continue to do so, no matter what Purple would say.

He just didn't know how he should live a life that was based on a lie. 

He knew that Zim was fed a lie while he sat in prison. He had overheard a transmission between the prison guards and his co-leader, where Purple had given the order to let Zim believe he was to blame for the whole incident back on Irk a month ago. That he hadn't watched the beast and when it escaped he had tried or done nothing to stop it.

He had tried, by the way. But as it turned out he built the container for the beast as the only thing that could be used to control it, so he had no choice but to go for cover or run away from his own creation.

Red felt like puking when he thought about Zim in a prison cell, not knowing what was going on while vehemently stating that he wasn't guilty.

But no one would ever know that he spoke the truth, while two false leaders lived a life they never deserved with one of them at least regretting what he did.

~The End~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I.. Listen, I love Purple, I really do. But I am one of those people who believe him to be a ruthless little b**ch, so that was my take on that. Canon aside I always thought that it was likely something like that COULD have happened but oh well~
> 
> I'm planning on adding two more pieces to this collection (the cut out smut part not counting), one in Zim's POV AFTER the whole incident to the present and one in Purple's leading up to the tragedy and present, and oh lord I am PUMPED for that part!


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